Lessons from 63 years of Marriage

Lessons from 63 Years of Marriage

There are a lot of “experts” on marriage and relationships in the world today.  There are a lot of people who claim to have modern solutions to the timeless challenges of marriage and, yet, the divorce rate in the United States is climbing.  About 50 percent of married couples in the United States divorce.  The average length of a marriage that ends in divorce is eight years.  Couples in the 20-30 year-old age range have the highest divorce rates.  Few marriages today will stand the test of time.  Jeremiah 6:16 says to “ask for the old paths, where is the good way, and walk therein.”  Here are some lessons in walking the good old paths, learned from 63 joyful years of marriage.

1) Always put God first. (Matthew 6:33, I Corinthians 11:3)

a) Your decisions should always consider how they will affect you and your spouse spiritually. 

b) Spend time together in Bible study and prayer.

c) Be actively involved in the work of the church.

          

2) Always talk and communicate with each other, and have a lot of Patience. (I Corinthians 13:4)

a) Marriage isn’t 50 % each - it takes 100% from both of you to make it work.

b) Talk and agree on plans for your future: children, where you are going to live, careers, etc.

                c) Always be truthful with one another. Never keep secrets from each other.

                d) Always listen to each other before decisions are made: Each should provide input.

     

3) Problem Solving:

                a) Solve your own problems if possible.  Don’t go running to your parents for solutions

      every time a problem comes up. (Genesis 2:24)

                b) Discuss differences in a calm manner and not hollering or yelling at each other. Be careful 

      what and how you say something when you are upset because you may regret it later. Sometimes it’s better to just listen. (James 3:5,6)

c) Never go to bed without resolving a problem: The longer a problem is unresolved, the more difficult it gets (Ephesians 4:26)

      to settled it.

                d) Tolerate each other’s unique habits.  Don’t make a big deal about them.

                                                                     

4) Finances (Eccl. 3:13):

                a) Live within your means. Put together a budget and review it frequently. Have a good credit rating.

                b) Be careful with credit cards:  charges can mount up fast and have high interest rates.           

                c) Put together a savings plan as soon as possible.

d) Always talk to each other before purchasing a high dollar item to determine if you can afforded it.

5) Working together (Hebrews 10:24): 

                a) Work together on projects. Cooperation with each other will give you a better feeling of responsibility or a sense you are needed.          

                b) Help each other with cooking, washing dishes, cleaning house, even changing dirty diapers.

6) Remember all important dates (Philippians 1:3):  

                a) Anniversary’s - Birthdays -  special times or dates unique to the two of you.

                b) Surprise your wife from time to time with some little remembrance or gift.

7) Tell each other how much you love them every day (John 13:34).  Never leave each other without a kiss. You never know whether you will see each other again.

These are some suggestions that Mazie & I tried to live by for sixty-three years and I hope they may give you some help in your marriage. 

 Willard Brockington

 And by the way, James says “the tongue is a FIRE.  A world of iniquity.”  We will have more to say about this another time, but know when to keep your mouth shut in your marriages.  Don’t say foolish things just to provoke your spouse.  Don’t go complaining about your spouse to other people.  Don’t take jabs at your spouse with sideways remarks and then say, “oh, you can’t take a joke” after you’ve already put an idea out there.  Why go there, even with a joke?  So many marriages have crashed in burned because of the gradual drippings of the tongue.